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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?